Monday, September 7, 2015

I don't want to jump in unless

Someone once told me that you can't run from your emotions. They meant it in the literal sense, too. But as I pound the pavement it quickly becomes very clear that they were wrong.

In fact, sometimes I wonder if taking this kind of advice was got me where I was; where I am. Putting on weight, socially anxious, hating my body, hating myself, finding all relationships devoid of connection.

Running is surely a coping mechanism for me. I won't deny that. As I run through 30 degree heat, through 60% humidity, through aching blisters, this is clear. The heat envelops me as my feet continue to fall forward, and I swear that this is the kind of ecstasy I feel when I dance. When I drink. When I make love.

That slightly narrowed focus, paying attention to only the moment you are in at present, where nothing else matters but one foot following the other, but sweat dripping off your body, but the pull in your calves.

Sometimes it can feel like you're running down a tunnel. You can only look ahead, because everything is dark around you. You look toward the light and you stick with it. It's in these moments I can understand others' choices of coping mechanisms; swimming, drugs, alcohol, sex. If an activity is all consuming, it's a pretty tempting state to put yourself into when everything is usually coming at you from all angles.

And so it is for me. I'm hot, and this is hard, but this is why I like it. I like the burn in my lungs. I like the redness of my face. I like the tension in my body. I like me during and after my run.

So I've been told to slow down in the past - and I gave it a go. I cut out what I could. Unfortunately, I cut out what fuelled me. I cut out dance. I cut out emotional connections. I cut out running.

And as the heat taunts me and my body thanks me, I know that this is not something I can live without again.

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Datura Online Belly Dance Discount Code

Hey cool cats, click here (or copy the link below) to grab yourselves $5 off a Datura Online belly dance membership.

I'm a huge DO fan, so I figured I may as well share my Datura Online discount code with anyone else who loves it! (If you're a member already you should be able to find a link on your profile to share it with your belly dance mateys).

Friday, January 30, 2015

What we do in the Shadows

Do it. Kickstart it. Give them your money. This is one of my favourite movies EVER. Very Kiwi, but I love love love.
Click here because I love them, and you love me. All of the love.

Sunday, January 18, 2015


This weekend was filled with movies, collecting banana passionfruit, lying on the wharf of someone's boat house (who knows who's), collecting cockles, seeing a Takahe, and a lot of walking through Orokonui.

Saturday, January 10, 2015

So I went Piloxing

A couple of years ago, I heard about Piloxing- and it sounded ridiculous. I laughed, and couldn't believe that such a thing existed. Pilates and boxing combined, and they even had Piloxing Barre- which somehow combined Pilates, Boxing, and ballet barre work!!
Anyway, my friend and I had a good chuckle about it, and I sort of just shook my head at the fitness industry.

And then today I went along.

I've been teaching a lot more classes recently, and even created some small group training classes which have gone really well, but I haven't been to any classes outside of the gym I work in for over 2 years. I think it's good to take classes with other instructors, for inspiration, but also just because I love fitness classes, and I love keeping fit.

So anyway, I started a new job in October, and happen to work right next to a studio that offers Piloxing.

And I have to say, it is really fun!

The instructor was great, and reminded me a lot of my favourite instructor from my gym I went to in high school. It was really great to see a really successful, really enthusiastic instructor- I miss the 'party' vibe of Les Mills, and this instructor today had the same sort of vibe.
The class was a little bit ridiculous, but that was part of what made it so good. Instructors who aren't afraid to be a little silly, a little out there- they're the ones who make classes really enjoyable.

And the marketing. So well done. Really. I actually went home and started looking into Piloxing instructor courses. Who knows?

Anyway, I think I'll keep going.

When I live my dream